It's Not Been The Best of Weeks

No pictures this time...

 

I wasn’t going to publish a blog for a couple of weeks but as this week comes towards a close I thought I’d share the raw emotion of the week whilst it’s still in me. I’m not looking for sympathy I’m just sharing the journey of trying to get through year one of losing my amazing wife, you’d think after ten months it would be getting easier..

 Firstly, as I should have expected I’m getting danced about over the house, one family have viewed it three times now in under two weeks, it’s on the market at £225,000 and everyone who knows it, has stayed in it, has partied in it, visited us at it all say “Is that all” but I’m a realist and those that know me know I play fairly straight, I expect similar from others. I know the house still needs work doing to it, quite a lot actually but whoever will finish off what Julie and I started will have one hell of a home and investment and could probably quickly recoup £80-£90,000 if they turn the cellar into a self-contained apartment, it is huge but yes needs work and of course I know I am going to have to move down from £225,000 slightly. After the second viewing last week my estate agent Rhys said the way the family were talking about the changes they’d make to their children that he felt an offer would follow, I said “I bet it’s around £185,000”, Rhys responded feeling they’d come in much higher than that. Friday Evening 5pm and an offer landed at £190,000, I laughed hysterically at the cheek but also that it was so close to my forecasted number, of course I declined ‘the offer’.

By Wednesday the family were back for a third viewing! They’re clearly keen but not unexpectedly two days later when writing this no increased offer has landed, all part of the game but as I have my eye on a beautiful apartment of course I want this wrapped up, it will be if it is to be regarding the place I fancy moving to but I’m not accepting silly offers and I think Rhys finds my strategy of not getting in touch with him different to most who I suspect are on the phone every two minutes after a viewing. The bottom line is he doesn’t get paid until the house sells so he wants to move it as quickly as myself and no matter how many calls I make to him will not speed up the process. So, it’s a waiting game I am guessing until 5pm tonight… Maybe longer, who knows…

 

I’ve become more emotional in the last week, it’s weird this rollercoaster. A combination of things have upset or distressed me in the last week.

I’ve previously mentioned that Julie’s Mum & Dad have both had spells in hospital recently, Julie’s Mum has dementia and to this day has no idea that Julie is no longer with us, that in itself is so sad. Those that know the family will know Julie was a Daddy’s girl not a mummy’s girl that said whenever we went home Julie would spend time manicuring her Mum’s nails but with Julie it really was ‘Daddy all the way’, it was bizarre reflecting back that during her last week with us from nowhere she suddenly said “I want my mummy”, whilst I could and did make most things happen for Julie sadly this was never going to be, I cried that night as I recall holding Julie’s hand to comfort her after she had asked… I felt guilty at times for Julie living on Merseyside when her parents and children lived across country in Grimsby, but Julie wanted to be with me, to be honest before we actually met she told me she was getting out of Grimsby as soon as she could I felt honoured that was ultimately to be with me but some things, no matter what others say leave you feeling guilty, this was one.

On my last two visits to Julie’s resting place as I talked, yes out loud to her but softly, as part of updating ‘her’ on events, I sobbed as I expressed my feeling that Julie’s dad sounded so ill that I felt she & he could soon be reunited. I’m pleased to say that a couple of weeks later Julie’s dad sounds better but the radiotherapy has taken its toll on him and continues to do so, he tires so quickly, radiotherapy can takes months for a young healthy person to recover from, Julie’s dad is in his 80’s…..

On top of this Julie’s Mum has been in hospital for a couple of weeks with what was initially thought to be an infection but tragically just this week it’s been confirmed that she too now has been diagnosed as having cancer, bless her she knows nothing or nobody now and clearly is frightened ‘resisting the nurses’ as they try to take blood. Emma has ‘stepped up to the plate’ here as she works at the hospital and she’s been giving her breaks up to sit with her grandma, like she doesn’t have enough on her plate and she too is still suffering the loss of Julie..

I’d already decided earlier this week before hearing the news on Julie’s mum that I’d visit Grimsby this weekend for it's Millie’s, Abbie & Chloe’s Birthday’s this coming week. The only ‘good’ thing coming out of this week was that Julie’s brother Andy had explained about having to utilise a hospital wheelchair when he takes his dad in now, I’ve still got Julie’s, I had no clue what to do with it but it’s going over with me tonight, I’m sure if Julie is looking down on us she will be pleased with this.

So all of that would be enough to upset anyone in one week but sadly it gets worse, a great guy and friend Paul McGeary who was treated for Leukaemia around two years ago has relapsed in the last week and is undergoing further treatment now. Although I’ve only met ‘Gee’ once at a Stag do last year he was incredibly supportive during Julie’s battle and in turn we supported Gee with his mantra of #NotOneInch my thoughts go out to Paul’s family, especially wife Becky & Mum Mary (who was so supportive during Julie’s journey). I’m positive Gee will beat this beast once more; he has such determination and deserves the right to see his young daughter grow up!

My dear Friend Casper in Holland, he too is going through the mill, although healthy himself his family are a serious cause for concern for him right now, Casper and Julie were ‘so tight’ and you’ll recall how many times he visited last year, at least five so already feeling the loss of Julie, then his own family ‘news’ without going into detail no man or woman should be carrying the load that Casper does right now.

I’m sixty on the eighth of next month, scary thought, thankfully though I only feel around forty! Normally big birthdays mean big celebrations, My fiftieth we held at Shute Manor with many special friends and I laugh as I recall being at my Mothers around the same time and Julie and I went ‘messing about’ on a river (The Avon at Warwick castle to be precise), Julie howled with laughter as I proved how rubbish a navigator I was…  This year there will be no party, the ‘hostess with the mostest’ is no longer here and I’m truly in no mood to celebrate anything this year yet alone my birthday. Casper suggested a couple of weeks ago that I go over and spend it quietly with him and that’s what I’m doing. Unusually I’m flying out of Birmingham, Maureen lives not ten minutes from the airport so I’m going to spend time with her the day before, recent events demonstrate we need to see our loved ones more often no matter the distance… It does though mean I won't be with Julie for my birthday..

Friends and neighbours are being kind and some are actually disappointed that I’m away for my birthday but as I say this isn’t a year to celebrate.

All of the above though means Julie has been at the forefront of my thoughts this week,  not in a negative or upsetting way that is until yesterday.

There is a Next Clothing store near my office and I’d ordered a couple of shirts to collect. I joined the queue, the woman in front of me.. Julie’s height, Julie’s style of long straight blond hair down between her shoulder blades, a blue top with large white spots on, exactly as Julie would have worn, A red and white spotted Cath Kidston handbag over her left shoulder, just like one Julie had… The only difference was her Jeans covered thighs were chunkier than Julie’s ever were… I smiled at all of the similarities, the comparison was so similar. The lady was served and walked off, I was served and around five minutes after joining the queue I was leaving the store. I barely got to the door and I just broke down and sobbed, I mean sobbed, I was walking towards my car my face covered in rain drops and streaming tears, I was distraught, I could so easily have dropped to my knees and sobbed forever it felt, I made it into the car my sobbing continued, I felt truly heartbroken, for over five minutes the tears just streamed as I gulped for air. I’ve not felt this way since the day I lost Julie, I cry often, I’m not ashamed to admit to my crying but I’ve never sobbed like this since 9^th September 2015…. A day later and my heart still feels raw and painful, when will it ever end? Will it ever end?......

 

Dedicated to Gee and his family - #NotOneInch

Another ‘First’

Our last holiday abroad April 2013 - Tenerife - Love that smile

 

Well after recovering from the shock of my Merseyside Women of The Year Award life was soon back down to earth with a bump.

I’ve previously mentioned ‘Shute Manor’ was going on the market and just over two weeks ago that happened, the sign is up and now I’m waiting for viewings and offers, I’ve had three so far, viewings that is, no offers. It’s quite numbing for me, the realisation that I am moving on ‘soon’ though I’ve explained to my Estate Agent, Rhys, that getting what it is worth is my objective and I’m not looking for a knock down sale. I’m fortunate that I’m moving for my reasons not because I need to or can no longer afford to run ‘the Manor’. I owned the house on my own before Julie came along and as part of our commitment to each other when she sold her own house and moved in and as part of our future plans together I added Julie to the mortgage, it was then ‘our house’, ‘our home’.. All that said the monthly outgoings I continued to pick up despite Julie wanting to contribute. I explained to her that she was contributing by keeping the Manor spotless and with her interior design skills, he-he (Julie-ism), in the early days I called her (amongst other things) “My interior designer”.



Bikini Girl 2013

I often explained to Julie that now it was ‘her time’, she’d had a tough-ish life, the only girl of five children and with a mother with health problems Julie was doing the washing and ironing and housekeeping from her early teens before she left home upon getting married. With two children on board, working two jobs and living on a housing estate that she felt would impact on the children’s future lives had she remained there she took the bold step of leaving her then husband George and managing to ‘buy into’ a shared ownership house that she worked incredibly hard to get looking ‘perfect’.  She turned her house into a beautiful home and as a single Mum gave Emma & Aaron the best start in life, she had every right to feel proud. As usual I’ve digressed; the point I was getting to was Julie had

worked hard since she was fourteen. About a year before we met Julie started having health problems, first she had a collapsed lung that lead to the discovery that she had Rheumatoid Arthritis then not long after we met she started to have intestinal pain and problems that lead to a diagnosis of ‘Ulcerative Colitis’, her weight plummeted and despite a lengthy stay in hospital they could not get it under control and she was told it was imperative she had surgery to remove her bowel. A lengthy operation resulted in her having what she cheerfully referred to as a ‘Gucci bag’ fitted onto her side, despite her joviality and positive nature and being grateful for still being alive thanks to the surgery but I knew it ‘hurt’ and how it knocked her confidence slightly she was a ‘bikini girl’ and this was devastating to her so it was tough, really tough on her, ultimately thanks to Ciaran Walsh and Arrowe Park Hospital she went on to have surgery that meant ‘Gucci bag’ could go and her confidence rocketed again I’m pleased to say.

Finally the point is us being together and in love as we were this could be her time; no worries about working, no daily worries about the children, she could and did become in her words ‘A lady that lunched’ and having no worries about having to pay the bills. I did have to ‘fight her’ on this topic though as Julie was never a ‘taker’ she needed to pay her way, she was not going to become a ‘kept woman’ so the compromise was she could buy the day to day shopping lol unless I beat her to the checkout chip and pin machine (hehe as she would have said). I cannot explain all of that without adding my sincerest thanks to a very special lady who hardly left Julie’s side whilst in hospital with Ulcerative Colitis and who also helped keep Julie’s spirits high in the early days of the discovery of her GBM IV, Julie’s best friend ‘Woon’, her former Sister in law June, she really was in my eyes an unsung hero, these two truly were the best of best friends….

So the for sale sign is up and if you want to take a peek at mainly Julie’s handiwork & what is on offer then feel free to click the link http://www.rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/property-54972637.html lol feel free to put in an offer.

It’s bizarre, I feel ‘at ease’ putting the house on the market but I already know the day I hand the keys over I’ll be sobbing like a baby but I’ve got my memories on PC’s, laptops, backed up on discs and phones and of course in my head, it’s been a major part of my life but I have to move on now.

I’m still having days where the tears appear from nowhere, it can be seeing a picture that sets me off, or a film or just hearing a song on the radio, reading back on some of the blogs too has me sitting at my desk with tears rolling down my cheeks…. Don’t get me wrong there are so many fond memories that I’m soon smiling again afterwards, it’s all just part of moving on.

Part of moving on is the first anniversaries I’ve previously mentioned, last month’s was our first wedding anniversary apart. This month, the 17^th (July) would have been Julie’s 55^th Birthday; I had to go back up to the lakes for the day. Saturday I met a dear friend, ‘Scouse’ or ‘Wobblegob’ as Julie affectionately called her, her real name is June.

June & I swapped messages a few weeks ago and arranged to have lunch, I’ve not seen her since the funeral. As we messaged I asked was there anything of Julie’s that she recalled and liked and would

like as a keepsake. She mentioned a mock patchwork cushion she had bought Julie last year when she was in hospital to brighten her bed up and of course I assured her she could have it. As a good friend of I also asked her to ask Collette if there was anything she would like, sadly Collette hasn’t kept in touch as is her right and I’ve no desire to antagonise anyone so I thought this was the best way, Collette was Julie’s best friend on Merseyside and I would not want to deprive any of Julie’s closest friends or family of items to remember her by. Shortly later June contacted me saying Collette would like a small silver necklace that she's bought Julie, with one of Liverpool’s infamous SuperLambanana’s as a silver charm, of course she could have it. It’s touching that despite getting Julie’s wedding jewellery cut off by a jeweller friend Mike who resized it and delivered it back same day the steroids caused further swelling and at that point Julie decided to wear them on this same necklace, I remember crying as I gently unclipped it as I said my final goodbye to her as the funeral directors waited, I had to buy

SuperLambanana

a sturdier chain to accommodate our combined wedding jewellery that I wear daily. Another couple of dear friend’s I’ve since offered items to including Julie’s Cath Kidston handbag. On the day Julie slipped away and the hospital supplies company came to collect the hospital bed & hoist etc. I put Julie’s handbag on the back of the rocking chair in the green room, there it has remained untouched to this day but it will soon be gifted to another dear friend of Julie’s one of the 'secret agents'. June & I caught up and had a lovely lunch in New Brighton, she gave me a little something and asked would I take it to Julie and I did, June also kindly donated to Clatterbridge Cancer Charity on the basis it was Julie’s birthday, such a lovely thought…. Always the opportunist and desperate to help fund the reclining chairs for the new (to be built) hospital in case any of you readers would like to donate here’s the current link in Julie’s memory,

 

https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/Julie-Shute .. It’s just an observation and I know someone is always after your money and some of us donate to other worthy causes but the blog has gone through an incredible 85,000 reads, it’s staggering but imagine if each read was £1? On top of all the other collecting we have been associated with in Julie’s memory this would have blown the chair target away, wouldn’t that be something?

Sunday 17^th July and I’m heading to the lakes. It’s a long story that I won’t bore you with but I’ve

Thistles

recently had to get rid of my very unreliable less than a year old 4x4 and so for this trip I’m in a much smaller hire car. As I turned right in Holbeck Lane the initial steepness of the road took me by surprise but the car took it in its stride and 200 yards later I’m parked up by ‘Julie’s resting place’ lol you can actually ‘check in’ there now on Facebook.. Today there was no sign of ‘Bambi’ in the adjacent field, just a couple of sheep. I sat on the sawn off tree stump and took in the view again, the joy with this location and the lake and skyline in front of ‘us’ is it’s an ever changing landscape, be it the boats on Windermere or the cloud formations plus the seasonal foliage changes or the weather, you cannot help but be impressed with the tranquillity and beauty.

I smiled as I saw the nettle patch that she’s ‘protected’ herself with then walked to the field gate,

Nettles & Thistles

again I smiled, not only are there nettles but now there is a significant crop of thistles the lady is

taking no chances! Nothing was going to stop me getting close to Julie though. With no grazing in this field it’s turning into a real meadow now, long grass, wild flowers, I spotted the most beautiful caterpillar too, on reflection later (to me) its head resembled a fox shape, again I smiled one of my nicknames for Julie was ‘Foxy’, I know… It’s daft….

I started to share recent events with ‘her ladyship’, there was so much to

tell her and I can imagine someone calling for the men with straightjackets to come get me but I chatted away and yes the tears came too, I wished her a happy birthday, I told her "See, I’ll never forget you", I explained how we were all missing her, again it’s not just me that feels the pain of grief, Julie’s reach remains long. There’s little or no phone signal at her spot so I couldn’t share the fitting Tributes the children had put up on Facebook to remember Mum & Grandma (see below). These ‘Firsts’ truly hurt…….

A couple of hours with Jules and I headed down to Low Wood Bay Hotel which is not two minutes from the resting place and chilled out with a light lunch, around five p.m. I set off for home, well home for the night. As I have to drive pretty close to my office on my journey home I’d booked into Bolton Whites Hotel, after my visit last month I stopped here too and was actually chosen in a draw for a free night here with a pitch view room, that was a real bonus (Whites is part of the Bolton Wanderers Football Stadium). Drawer apart, Julie & I loved it here if we were at company functions we would stay here and on one occasion I booked the penthouse suite just to make my princess feel special so it’s always happy visits here at Whites. My journey to work Monday morning took five minutes versus the usual ninety and people ask me “Why do you want to move”.. I’ve got my eye on a place and if the jigsaw all falls into place then my drive to work will take 15 minutes maximum…..

A room with a View - Whites Hotel Bolton

Family Tributes to Mum & Grandma

 

Well and Truly Caught Out

This blog edition is dedicated to all of the amazing Women recognised at this year's Merseyside Women of The Year Awards, also to the memory of the late Bernie Singleton & our very own Julie Shute

 

It’s the little things in life that often mean the most to us and in the last week this has proved to be so for me.

Firstly it’s hard to believe that it’s been a year since Julie was at the Merseyside Women of The Year Awards but it is, her runners up award still proudly adorns her chest of drawers in ‘The Green Room’, formerly our bedroom, this recognition of her endeavours to help others so selflessly by her charity fundraising and the blog and supporting Clatterbridge by allowing her operation procedure to be filmed I was so proud of her and of course that day was so special for many reasons but it was hectic for me.

 

A few months back Jean Gadsby of The Merseyside Women of The Year Awards emailed me inviting me to attend this year’s awards ceremony. I was truly flattered, it was explained the organisers, Jean, Ellie Kerr & Elaine Owen had recognised how I hadn’t really had time to enjoy the ceremony last year as it was obvious to them that my focus was Julie so they thought it would be nice for me to be here to enjoy this year’s awards. I hadn’t really thought about it at the time or since until this conversation and then when I reflected back, a significant amount of time was given over to doing what I did and that was making sure Julie was looked after and having a great time. When I look back yes of course I sat down and watched the awards and all of the amazing women being recognised for their selfless actions but from the time the private ambulance and crew brought Julie in on a stretcher to hoisting her into the air in a large but compact disabled loo swapping the stretcher for her chair and lowering her into position then protecting her modesty and keeping her dignity intact to getting her into the room where she met all of the surprise guests, she was aware of Maureen & I Karen & Louise from Clatterbridge & John and Sarah Burns, but Hannah, Collette and June Bernicoff were all a surprise. Getting Julie settled into place, speaking with the paramedics to keep them on hand ‘just in case’ liaising with the hotel staff so we could use Julie’s cutlery and her drinks beaker. Cutting up Julie’s food for her, reassuring her and whilst only those on the table noticed Julie started to have a seizure. Thankfully the lorazepam were with me and two small tablets later and a lot of comforting and our distraction routine and it slipped away mainly unnoticed by most. A trip to the loo for her too, again it meant the assistance of the Paramedics and us using the hoist to get her out of the chair safely onto the loo and then back into the chair, it was focussed attention but Julie came first. She smiled and laughed so much that day, given she only got out of the house three times after that this was a most special day.

So,  Friday 24^th June and I decided not to drive this year, I don’t drink much mainly because when out I’m driving and my job depends on my driving licence, I usually just have a glass of wine or a pint of beer and then switch to soft drinks. Don’t get me wrong I enjoy a good drink occasionally but I learnt a long time ago that hangovers are not good for you so I’m normally the ‘sensible one’, that said, I only ever saw Julie drunk twice which we laughed about afterwards, I’ll share the detail another time but we had a work hard play hard and fun mentality and that didn’t need alcohol to make it fun.  As usual I’ve digressed! I took a cab and then a train into Liverpool.

Entering the Crowne Plaza I saw Jean and we exchanged greetings, I thanked her for the invite. Jean explained she had put me on a table that comprised a lady called Roz Tranfield, some of her guests several including Roz were either in remission from Cancer or were still being treated at Clatterbridge. Talking of Clatterbridge Elspeth Wilson from The Clatterbridge Cancer Charity was on the table too. Although I’d never met Roz before today as I knew she and another  Clatterbridge fundraiser the amazing Dorothy Beattie were both nominated for The Leonard Curtis sponsored ‘Women Making a Difference Award’, this was the ‘mirror award’ to which Julie and Bernie (Bucket) Singleton were nominated last year. On the announcement of the finalists I put my weight behind both ladies in asking for votes but with only one vote I went with Roz for she lives on the peninsula too.

It was nice to be on a table with ‘like-minded’ friends. Lunch as ever was superb and our compere  was again the amazingly witty Pauline Daniels, no subject is safe when Pauline is on form tears of laughter are guaranteed. In this role Pauline is perfect for like any comedienne and actress

she has a sharp wit and retort to hand and she ‘took no prisoners’ when having been informed as part of her housekeeping speech at the start to ensure phones were switched off or there would be £20 fines for non-compliance. Two people were fined but as Pauline rightly pointed out “It’s not about the money, it’s about having respect for the award finalists and not detracting from them”…  Pauline had taken a shine to the invited guest & recently announced

new ‘Cadbury’s Milk Tray Man’, Liverpool fireman, Patrick McBride. We other men stood no chance today; it’s fair to say the banter was good.

 

Last Year’s Merseyside Woman of The Year and now friend Angela Samata shared her year long experience, one of the highlights of her year was she was nominated for a BAFTA, she also had the other women in the room slightly jealous when she explained after the BAFTA ceremony another attendee offered to walk her back to their hotel however as the party was still on Angela declined only to discover later the gentleman in question was the infamous chest baring Poldark actor Aidan Turner!  

After a fantastic lunch the Awards ceremony began.  We had a programme before us and I flicked through mine to find out about all of the lovely finalists to discover a page entitled ‘Celebrating & Remembering’ it featured Bernie Singleton & Julie, it recognised their contributions and their loss to the Merseyside Woman of the Year ‘Family’ it was such a surprise and so touching to see the tribute it quite literally brought me to tears.

As the award category Roz & Dorothy were in came up our table erupted as Roz was announced the winner, these are spine tingling times and of course bring back memories of last year.  As the stunning Roz returned to us with her award we all congratulated her, she was rightly ecstatic.

Although my phone had its volume turned off as phones are cameras and a multi-media device these days I’d kept mine on and was doing my bit to support the MWOTY team and tweet every possible moment, those of you that use twitter will understand what a powerful tool it can be to profile raise and highlight events, trends are picked up for the more higher profile events and it turned out the team effort had made MWOTY the second highest topic on Twitter, given ‘we’ as a nation that morning had voted ourselves out of Europe and ‘Brexit’ was the top trend. As I enjoyed a drink with the media team later they joked they struggled to keep up with my barrage of tweets so they could share them too.  There is a point to this I promise.

As the ceremony continued I’d glance up I’d listen to the Winner speeches and take pictures and tweet them. I looked up and saw the next category appear, ‘Best Supporting Male’ I glanced at it and then looked down at my phone screen still tweeting then thought “Did I just hear my name?”,  I looked up and as our table erupted in screams and cheers I saw my name on the large stage screens! It took a couple of seconds to sink in and it was only the amount of people rising to their feet that shocked me into the reality of the situation, as I stood up Elspeth hugged me, another guest on the table another  Andy shook my hand and I realised I had to head to the stage,  walking through a room full of standing applauding people for only the second time in my life is humbling, as I headed for the stage Angela Samata was in front of me grinning she hugged me, congratulated me and whispered, “it was such an obvious choice for us”, Angela had been part of this year’s Judging panel, I told her she was naughty, she explained she’d been avoiding me so as not give the surprise away. I made my way onto the stage and was presented with my award by Pauline McNamara of

Cassell Moore Solicitors who had kindly sponsored this award. Pauline Daniels explained to the audience who I was and why I was up here. With a Pauline either side of me we were photographed & Pauline Daniels invited me to say a few words. With not knowing I was going to be standing here until two minutes ago I had nothing prepared but thankfully I’ve presented to audiences large and small and can as we say ‘think on my feet’, my opening words were “I’ve been stitched up, well and truly stitched up!” I laughed and explained how I’d been invited along on the grounds of having not had the chance to enjoy last year’s awards ceremony…  I think I uttered the words I will get you back ladies… This was an opportunity to tell this year’s audience a bit about Julie and her journey, how despite knowing she was dying was standing in the pouring rain at Hoylake Railway station at the British Open Golf Championship collecting for Clatterbridge, I mentioned how I’d lost Julie last September and how I had reunited our wedding ring jewellery and that they are always with me, I added that I hoped Julie was still with us today if only in spirit and that I knew she would be incredibly proud of this year’s finalists. I picked up my award and explained how much it meant to me to be the recipient and then headed back through the new standing ovation. I’d heard the words several times today from winners that they didn’t feel what they were doing was worthy of an award, I knew exactly what they meant though. Not one finalist in the room today did the amazing things they did for the glory or recognition, they do

Jean, Elaine & Ellie

it because it’s the right thing for them to do, this so resonates for me. Surely what I did for Julie was the same as any other loving husband would do for their so precious wife?  Back at our table the atmosphere was electric and Roz and I were photographed with both of our awards. I was elated and stunned; this award is such a fantastic honour.  I realised there hadn’t been a recipient last year this made it being in my arms feel even more special. It takes a lot to hoodwink me, one of my favourite expressions is “You’ll have to get up early in a morning to catch me out”! I was truly; well and truly caught out today. I saw Jean, Ellie and Elaine after the final awards; they were like schoolgirls who had just pranked a fellow pupil, these ladies are so special on many fronts and I now very much feel part of this amazing ‘family’.

You would think that was enough excitement for one day, then Michael Halsall the primary sponsor of the awards ceremony took to the stage to announce this year’s runners up and the Winner of The Merseyside Woman of The Year Award, Roz was announced as the winner, our table just erupted, it was incredible the elation as she hugged her friends to her left, then her boyfriend Paddy & then their dear friend Andrew. This was draining and I think only the adrenalin was keeping us going. Elspeth commented how amazing that we had three awards, yes three awards on our table and all associated to Clatterbridge Cancer Charity, these are humbling times…  Roz returned to the table where we all shared a hug with her. Roz herself is a survivor of Cancer, breast cancer, the scourge of mainly women (but men can get Breast Cancer too), as a beautiful former model I can but envisage how devastating this must have been

but treatment at Clatterbridge has sent her beast in to remission. Most would have just been grateful for the outcome but Roz similar to Julie wanted to do more, Roz started mentoring and supporting other patients, she also set about fundraising and held a cat walk fashion show where all models had been associated with cancer as part of a fund raising drive. Roz has raised over £30,000 so far and I’m pretty certain she has not stopped. She is shortly to do a charity night ride, I am genuinely touched by this lady. For the likes of Julie, Roz & Dorothy who collectively have contributed over £300,000, Dorothy has been absolutely outstanding with so far raising over £200,000! Her fundraising to date has contributed to a conservatory being built next to the out-patient’s department at Clatterbridge plus a fleet of cars so the specialist nurses can administer some patient’s Chemotherapy in their own homes.  Amazing selfless women, Amazing….

Merseyside Women of The Year 2016