Another ‘First’

Our last holiday abroad April 2013 - Tenerife - Love that smile

 

Well after recovering from the shock of my Merseyside Women of The Year Award life was soon back down to earth with a bump.

I’ve previously mentioned ‘Shute Manor’ was going on the market and just over two weeks ago that happened, the sign is up and now I’m waiting for viewings and offers, I’ve had three so far, viewings that is, no offers. It’s quite numbing for me, the realisation that I am moving on ‘soon’ though I’ve explained to my Estate Agent, Rhys, that getting what it is worth is my objective and I’m not looking for a knock down sale. I’m fortunate that I’m moving for my reasons not because I need to or can no longer afford to run ‘the Manor’. I owned the house on my own before Julie came along and as part of our commitment to each other when she sold her own house and moved in and as part of our future plans together I added Julie to the mortgage, it was then ‘our house’, ‘our home’.. All that said the monthly outgoings I continued to pick up despite Julie wanting to contribute. I explained to her that she was contributing by keeping the Manor spotless and with her interior design skills, he-he (Julie-ism), in the early days I called her (amongst other things) “My interior designer”.



Bikini Girl 2013

I often explained to Julie that now it was ‘her time’, she’d had a tough-ish life, the only girl of five children and with a mother with health problems Julie was doing the washing and ironing and housekeeping from her early teens before she left home upon getting married. With two children on board, working two jobs and living on a housing estate that she felt would impact on the children’s future lives had she remained there she took the bold step of leaving her then husband George and managing to ‘buy into’ a shared ownership house that she worked incredibly hard to get looking ‘perfect’.  She turned her house into a beautiful home and as a single Mum gave Emma & Aaron the best start in life, she had every right to feel proud. As usual I’ve digressed; the point I was getting to was Julie had

worked hard since she was fourteen. About a year before we met Julie started having health problems, first she had a collapsed lung that lead to the discovery that she had Rheumatoid Arthritis then not long after we met she started to have intestinal pain and problems that lead to a diagnosis of ‘Ulcerative Colitis’, her weight plummeted and despite a lengthy stay in hospital they could not get it under control and she was told it was imperative she had surgery to remove her bowel. A lengthy operation resulted in her having what she cheerfully referred to as a ‘Gucci bag’ fitted onto her side, despite her joviality and positive nature and being grateful for still being alive thanks to the surgery but I knew it ‘hurt’ and how it knocked her confidence slightly she was a ‘bikini girl’ and this was devastating to her so it was tough, really tough on her, ultimately thanks to Ciaran Walsh and Arrowe Park Hospital she went on to have surgery that meant ‘Gucci bag’ could go and her confidence rocketed again I’m pleased to say.

Finally the point is us being together and in love as we were this could be her time; no worries about working, no daily worries about the children, she could and did become in her words ‘A lady that lunched’ and having no worries about having to pay the bills. I did have to ‘fight her’ on this topic though as Julie was never a ‘taker’ she needed to pay her way, she was not going to become a ‘kept woman’ so the compromise was she could buy the day to day shopping lol unless I beat her to the checkout chip and pin machine (hehe as she would have said). I cannot explain all of that without adding my sincerest thanks to a very special lady who hardly left Julie’s side whilst in hospital with Ulcerative Colitis and who also helped keep Julie’s spirits high in the early days of the discovery of her GBM IV, Julie’s best friend ‘Woon’, her former Sister in law June, she really was in my eyes an unsung hero, these two truly were the best of best friends….

So the for sale sign is up and if you want to take a peek at mainly Julie’s handiwork & what is on offer then feel free to click the link http://www.rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/property-54972637.html lol feel free to put in an offer.

It’s bizarre, I feel ‘at ease’ putting the house on the market but I already know the day I hand the keys over I’ll be sobbing like a baby but I’ve got my memories on PC’s, laptops, backed up on discs and phones and of course in my head, it’s been a major part of my life but I have to move on now.

I’m still having days where the tears appear from nowhere, it can be seeing a picture that sets me off, or a film or just hearing a song on the radio, reading back on some of the blogs too has me sitting at my desk with tears rolling down my cheeks…. Don’t get me wrong there are so many fond memories that I’m soon smiling again afterwards, it’s all just part of moving on.

Part of moving on is the first anniversaries I’ve previously mentioned, last month’s was our first wedding anniversary apart. This month, the 17^th (July) would have been Julie’s 55^th Birthday; I had to go back up to the lakes for the day. Saturday I met a dear friend, ‘Scouse’ or ‘Wobblegob’ as Julie affectionately called her, her real name is June.

June & I swapped messages a few weeks ago and arranged to have lunch, I’ve not seen her since the funeral. As we messaged I asked was there anything of Julie’s that she recalled and liked and would

like as a keepsake. She mentioned a mock patchwork cushion she had bought Julie last year when she was in hospital to brighten her bed up and of course I assured her she could have it. As a good friend of I also asked her to ask Collette if there was anything she would like, sadly Collette hasn’t kept in touch as is her right and I’ve no desire to antagonise anyone so I thought this was the best way, Collette was Julie’s best friend on Merseyside and I would not want to deprive any of Julie’s closest friends or family of items to remember her by. Shortly later June contacted me saying Collette would like a small silver necklace that she's bought Julie, with one of Liverpool’s infamous SuperLambanana’s as a silver charm, of course she could have it. It’s touching that despite getting Julie’s wedding jewellery cut off by a jeweller friend Mike who resized it and delivered it back same day the steroids caused further swelling and at that point Julie decided to wear them on this same necklace, I remember crying as I gently unclipped it as I said my final goodbye to her as the funeral directors waited, I had to buy

SuperLambanana

a sturdier chain to accommodate our combined wedding jewellery that I wear daily. Another couple of dear friend’s I’ve since offered items to including Julie’s Cath Kidston handbag. On the day Julie slipped away and the hospital supplies company came to collect the hospital bed & hoist etc. I put Julie’s handbag on the back of the rocking chair in the green room, there it has remained untouched to this day but it will soon be gifted to another dear friend of Julie’s one of the 'secret agents'. June & I caught up and had a lovely lunch in New Brighton, she gave me a little something and asked would I take it to Julie and I did, June also kindly donated to Clatterbridge Cancer Charity on the basis it was Julie’s birthday, such a lovely thought…. Always the opportunist and desperate to help fund the reclining chairs for the new (to be built) hospital in case any of you readers would like to donate here’s the current link in Julie’s memory,

 

https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/Julie-Shute .. It’s just an observation and I know someone is always after your money and some of us donate to other worthy causes but the blog has gone through an incredible 85,000 reads, it’s staggering but imagine if each read was £1? On top of all the other collecting we have been associated with in Julie’s memory this would have blown the chair target away, wouldn’t that be something?

Sunday 17^th July and I’m heading to the lakes. It’s a long story that I won’t bore you with but I’ve

Thistles

recently had to get rid of my very unreliable less than a year old 4x4 and so for this trip I’m in a much smaller hire car. As I turned right in Holbeck Lane the initial steepness of the road took me by surprise but the car took it in its stride and 200 yards later I’m parked up by ‘Julie’s resting place’ lol you can actually ‘check in’ there now on Facebook.. Today there was no sign of ‘Bambi’ in the adjacent field, just a couple of sheep. I sat on the sawn off tree stump and took in the view again, the joy with this location and the lake and skyline in front of ‘us’ is it’s an ever changing landscape, be it the boats on Windermere or the cloud formations plus the seasonal foliage changes or the weather, you cannot help but be impressed with the tranquillity and beauty.

I smiled as I saw the nettle patch that she’s ‘protected’ herself with then walked to the field gate,

Nettles & Thistles

again I smiled, not only are there nettles but now there is a significant crop of thistles the lady is

taking no chances! Nothing was going to stop me getting close to Julie though. With no grazing in this field it’s turning into a real meadow now, long grass, wild flowers, I spotted the most beautiful caterpillar too, on reflection later (to me) its head resembled a fox shape, again I smiled one of my nicknames for Julie was ‘Foxy’, I know… It’s daft….

I started to share recent events with ‘her ladyship’, there was so much to

tell her and I can imagine someone calling for the men with straightjackets to come get me but I chatted away and yes the tears came too, I wished her a happy birthday, I told her "See, I’ll never forget you", I explained how we were all missing her, again it’s not just me that feels the pain of grief, Julie’s reach remains long. There’s little or no phone signal at her spot so I couldn’t share the fitting Tributes the children had put up on Facebook to remember Mum & Grandma (see below). These ‘Firsts’ truly hurt…….

A couple of hours with Jules and I headed down to Low Wood Bay Hotel which is not two minutes from the resting place and chilled out with a light lunch, around five p.m. I set off for home, well home for the night. As I have to drive pretty close to my office on my journey home I’d booked into Bolton Whites Hotel, after my visit last month I stopped here too and was actually chosen in a draw for a free night here with a pitch view room, that was a real bonus (Whites is part of the Bolton Wanderers Football Stadium). Drawer apart, Julie & I loved it here if we were at company functions we would stay here and on one occasion I booked the penthouse suite just to make my princess feel special so it’s always happy visits here at Whites. My journey to work Monday morning took five minutes versus the usual ninety and people ask me “Why do you want to move”.. I’ve got my eye on a place and if the jigsaw all falls into place then my drive to work will take 15 minutes maximum…..

A room with a View - Whites Hotel Bolton

Family Tributes to Mum & Grandma